Father and Teenage Daughter Portland Oregon Life Coach

Father and Teenage Daughter

My dad passed away last Fall and with Father’s Day coming up I made a donation in my father’s name and received fuchsia plants in return. I’ve planted them in a pot that rests on the rail of my balcony. I find myself fussing over these plants—have I watered them too much, are they getting enough sun or is it too much, would they look better positioned somewhere else. As I fuss I am reminded of how tenuous all relationships are -- particularly as parents.
I think of my teen years and how my dad couldn’t do or say anything right. I believe that to my dad I was like the fuchsias I carefully watch for signs of growth and question if I’m doing everything right in order for them to thrive. How many of you question if you’re doing everything for your teen to thrive? Are you fussing to ensure nothing goes wrong?
I’m certain my dad felt that way for many years. Like I said he couldn’t do or say anything right by me and he tried. I remember walking into our family room one night and announcing that I didn’t like what my dad was watching and he offered to change the channel. I thought he was weak the way he was willing to bend over backwards for me. Looking back I realize how wrong I was, he just wanted the opportunity to be with me and I was being a teen who was more interested in myself and my friends.
We didn’t really work out our relationship until I became pregnant and for the first time he sat in silence and listened as I told him what I wished for myself and my baby. I wanted him to listen and he finally learned how to do that with me. All those years I didn’t know what I wanted from my dad, we stumbled into it.

After that he would call instead of waiting for my mom or me to call. I’m thankful my dad discovered how to best communicate with me and that we got 10 good years together. Now I get to help my clients to discover how to best communicate with their kids. Don’t wait ‘till you’re in your 60s to connect with your child, take action now.
Contact Denise for one-on-one parent coaching.