You've decided you want to add some art to your home.  So, you go shopping and find a couple of pieces of art that you really like and buy them.  When you get home, you decide where you're going to hang the photos and you pull out the toolbox for supplies.   You find a hammer, picture hooks, and tape measure (because you want to be precise).  The pictures get hung and you step back to admire the new art and the placement on the wall.Other than the tools that you physically took out of the toolbox what other tools did you utilize to complete this project?  How often do you talk to your children about the tools they possess from within to complete a project, negotiate with friends, improve their grades?

Recently, a parent shared a story with me about their daughter.  The daughter came home from school with a test that she did not score well on and she said "I do not want to hear anything about my grade."  I looked over the paper and kept quiet.  Two days later the mother said, "Okay, let's talk about that test you took.  You always do well in spelling tell me what was different this time?"  Her response was that there was some talking taking place near her that was distracting, she thought she was running out of time, and she felt a ‘pressure on her body' to do well. By respecting the daughter's wishes and waiting to discuss the test at a later date the mother was able to have a clam conversation with her daughter;  something that doesn't always take place.  Raising her daughter's awareness to what was going on around her, internally and externally, allowed for them to discuss what works for her and what does not.  She became aware of how staying focused contributes to her success and how she created her own anxiety.   She recognized that when her teacher quieted the class she was able to calm herself, refocus and complete the test. 
By asking the question, "What was different this time?" the daughter was able to self-assess, recognizing that she functions best during a test when it is quiet and that she has the ability to calm herself.  She hasn't tested poorly on a spelling test since.
What tools does your child have to assist them in being successful in life?  What tools do you have that you share with your child?