Recognizing and respecting your son’s qualities will encourage confidence within your child. An example of respecting a quality is “Wow, Johnny, your time and effort put into studying for this exam really paid off. Congratulations on earning an ‘A’.” As opposed to, “Johnny, I’m proud of you getting an ‘A’ on your paper.” Start using this at a young age and your child will develop into a self-motivated, confident adult. Good news! It is never too late to start respecting your son’s qualities.
Listening beyond the words. People listen at 3 levels. The first level is what is most often used in conversation which is responding to what a person says by talking about you. An example is “Oh, you think you had a bad day, well, let me tell you about mine.” The second level is when you respond with questions to gather facts, showing a level of curiosity. The third level is when you ask a question and then you listen. Truly listen, allow yourself to feel your daughter’s emotions, fully understand what they are expressing and repeat what you’re hearing. An example is listening to your daughter talking about all of the homework they have along with upcoming exams and responding with “I understand the anxiety you have around completing your assignments and preparing for your exams.”
Once you understand what your daughter is expressing you are then able to support them. You may continue the above response with, “What support do you require to complete all of your studies?” |
